Tuesday, May 15, 2012

My Circumstances Are Not My Reality

I'll be honest. Our current circumstances aren't the greatest. Nothing has turned out like we expected. Unfortunate things keep happening. We haven't had a win in a long time. And just when we think things can't get any worse, they do. They can. And they do. And nothing goes untouched. Not our finances, our home, our cars, our health. Not one thing.

But in the midst of one thing after another and a handful of unlucky circumstances, I rejoice. Because these circumstances are not my reality.

They certainly seem real. And from a natural perspective--oh, they're very real. {My strep throat. It hurts. It's real.} But they don't define me. They don't become me. Because they aren't real to me.

I was reminded of the story of Job. Talk about crappy circumstances. Job had the worst luck. Everything was taken from him. Everything. And he still praised God. Thankfully, the narrative that Job couldn't see has been included in the story to counsel me. To remind me that my circumstances are the result of something much greater than myself. There is a constant battle being waged around me whether I'm cognizant of it or not. Good and Evil battling it out to see to which side I will pledge my allegiance. But my God and Job's God are the same. Then. Now. Forever. And Job's God said spare his life. And my God says spare her life.

The minute I clothe myself in my circumstances is the minute I become loyal to Evil. Evil becomes my father. Tells me that my circumstances are my reality. And tells me how to perceive Good. Which can't really be that Good, right? Not if all these things keep happening to me. Because Good wouldn't let these things happen. Good must have turned away from me. Forsaken me. And so I no longer can get alone with my God. My Daddy. My lover. My friend. Because he has betrayed me. Or so I am told.

But here is my reality:

God's love for me is fierce. It is deep and wide. It is unconditional and incomprehensible. God loved me so much that he sent his only son to die for me that I might live. Because of this, I am free. I am free from my circumstances. I am free from worry, doubt, fear, pity. I am free to live heaven on earth. I do live heaven on earth. God has given me many promises. And God is the ultimate promise-keeper. Unlike us, he never goes back on his word. Satan knows these promises too. And he's devilishly angry. He hates to lose. He wants me to play on his team. So he runs interference. He has control over my circumstances. He causes my circumstances. So that hopefully he can get me to become them and in that moment he can blame God. But I know that God's promises to me are near fulfillment because my circumstances are so pitiful. Satan is working overtime to keep me from these blessings. But I rejoice in those promises and in my Savior's love for me. His love is all that I have. And I am finding that it is all that I need. Really.

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