There is no better time than now for me to be a Mama. I am a work in progress, that's for sure. But the progress has been monumental over the past two or three years. And I am so thankful that God prepared my heart for the awesome responsibility of raising a little one.
Had I become a Mama a year or two ago, I would have done just fine I'm sure. I mean, I know how to care for the basic needs of a child. But I'm not sure that I would have been ready to care for the other needs--the emotional and spiritual needs of my child. I don't know if I would have been able to give him the unconditionally, ever present and abundant love he needs. The kind of love that humbly admits fault, is not dismissive, always patient. I wouldn't have been able to give a love like this because I hadn't allowed myself to receive it. My heart wasn't there yet.
But my Father has continued to pour out overwhelming love on me. Love and grace. Always. And as a result, I am now living in a place of utter and absolute freedom. Freedom from fear. Freedom from worry or anxiety. Freedom from the world, from natural perspectives. Freedom from criticism. I am free. And it is awesome. And in my freedom, my heart is now free to love. And as my Father pours out his love on me, I can overflow and pour out love on others. Especially my baby boy.
I have begun to see people like Jesus sees them. He loves us all very much. And I have really truly begun to love his people too. And I am so excited that I get to raise Burke in freedom and love. He will be a lover. A compassionate soul. He's got a great big destiny to fulfill, and I am so honored to lead him into his Father's arms so that he can walk it out. And I imagine a day when Burke runs off the bus and tells me that he doesn't understand why the other kids made fun of some boy or girl. And when I ask him what he did, when he tells me that he told that boy or girl that he loved them. That Jesus loves them. That they are precious in his sight. And that was his gut reaction. His instinct. And he wasn't afraid. Because he knows who he is. Because his reality is freedom and love. Because his Father loved his mama so that she could pour out His love on him.
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