My Treasure

Last night as I was nursing Burke before bed, I was thanking Jesus for all of the treasures He has so graciously given to me. A wonderful husband. A beautiful, happy son. A warm, welcoming home. Health. Abundant life. A caring family and generous friends.

But above all, my greatest treasure is the gift of knowing so much love. My heart overflows with the love I have for my son and my husband. This is truly the greatest gift of all and I will treasure it above all else for as long as I live.

To My Darling Burke: Four Months

Four months old. My, how time flies! And what a precious, most wonderful four months this has been. You had a break at the doctor's at three months, but back we went at four to see how you have grown. And you have grown! You are now just over 15 pounds and 25.25 inches long. In just four months, you've gone from the 10th percentile in weight to the 65th percentile; and in height, you grew almost seven long inches! I cannot believe that you were ever as small as pictures portray. I do not remember you growing bigger in my arms. And yet you have.

Dressed in a premie outfit for your hospital pictures

Now you're wearing 6 month clothing and will soon be into 9 month

This month had many "firsts" for you. At 13 weeks, you learned to roll from your back to your belly. Your playmat was no longer interesting to you, because just as soon as we'd lay you down to look up at your birdies, you'd roll over to your belly. Once there, you would root around a bit, get angry because you couldn't get yourself back over and then give up and cry until we would roll you back over. Then, the whole charade would repeat. And repeat. And repeat. You loved to practice this new trick!

Just one week later, you figured out how to roll the other way--from belly to back. This is how you wake up now. Mama and Daddy will often hear you in your crib just talking to yourself. And then we know that you have made the trip from belly to back and no longer have any interest in sleeping. But you are always so content. In fact, you can entertain yourself in your crib for quite a while now which is a big help when Mama and Daddy are getting ready for work in the mornings! I got you a mobile for your crib now, and you love to watch the bees go round and round.

It was around 15 weeks when I first heard the sound that will bring joy to my heart forever...you giggled! And it was music to my ears. Sometimes, you giggle for no real reason at all. You're just a happy boy. But other times, Mama and Daddy enjoy hearing you giggle when we kiss you under your chins or nibble kiss your belly.What a sweet, sweet sound!

 

Once Mama returned to work, you all of a sudden stopped taking naps. Sometimes you would still nap for me, but you would fight and fight and fight. You were so tired and yet you couldn't seem to settle yourself enough to rest. You also had terrible congestion during this time. During the night, Mama and Daddy would feel so bad for you because your nose was so stuffy that you could hardly breathe. You didn't even want your pacifier during those times. After about three weeks of no naps and congestion, though, your first tooth broke through the surface of those slimy gums! I had no idea you would get teeth so early. Not even four months old. The day that tooth came in, love, you were back to napping like a champ! Amazing. And then, one week later (around 17 weeks), your second tooth came in. Now you have your two bottom teeth and you look absolutely adorable. You still gnaw on everything you can get into that silly little mouth of yours, so I'm sure more teeth will soon follow. But you are certainly back to yourself these days and Mama just loves every moment!

It has been a fun and fast four months, Burke. I am already so proud of you--you are learning so much every day and delight in each new thing. Thank you for bringing such joy to our lives! We love you!!!

Love,

Mama

 

The Desire of Our Hearts: Part I

Green lawns, pastures full of native weeds bending in the breeze, a white picket fence and a stone house. The giggles and screams of delight bubbling up from children at play in the yard. Hard work, rewarding work. Sweet exhaustion and joyous toils. The badge of hands graced by the colors of the earth. And I am standing in the midst of the meadow, high weeds all around me. Barefoot. Spinning. Arms outstretched and reaching to the heavens. My hair is my banner--it waves all around me. I dance in His presence. And I sing to Him my love song.

These are the things God has shown me. These are the desires of my heart and my destiny. This is life in The Garden. I cannot wait!

The Desire of Our Hearts: The Introduction

I can't say as though I woke up one morning as said "Ah ha! I have found my desire." I can't even say that I knew my desire was even beginning to dawn on me or settle in my heart. I do, however, remember crying out to God. Show me my destiny! What is my purpose? I know I was created for something more than I am doing, created to be someone more than I am. What is it, Lord? Who am I to be? This was about two years ago.

Just a picture of my two favorite boys for some visual enjoyment!

As Ben and I continued to do life, there came a point where we both realized that these things we valued, these things we discussed on our walks with the dog, these things that really got us excited, gave us hope--these were the desires of our hearts! And that was so exciting. Once we finally came to this realization, we realized that this desire was also our destiny. And that still gives me chills. Each day we excitedly thank God for our destinies and trust that we are one day closer to their realization. A visiting speaker at our church once said that "if God gave you a promise, and things don't look like that promise--then hold on tight, because change is about to happen!" Change is coming our way. Big change. Exciting change. SUPERNATURAL change. And I can't wait.

The smell of Fall is in the air

I am so excited about the cool, crisp mornings and chilly evening air. I love the smell of leaves and the wet, dew-drenched grass. The crisp, clean scent of fresh air. Ruddy cheeks and the invigoration of a little extra exertion on that chilly morning run. Jeans, sweatshirts--comfy clothes! Open windows blowing the intoxicating Fall air through my home. The smell of baking bread, because now the warmth from the oven is welcomed. The beautiful sea of colorful leaves and the bright, warm glare from the sun. And this year, it's going to be even better. Because there's something special and exciting about sharing my favorite season with my baby boy! He is so curious and he loves the outdoors. I tingle with excitement as I daydream about all the adventures we will have this Fall. And I smile as I watch him discover each new treasure Mother Nature has graciously provided for our enjoyment.

And then there were tears...

Yesterday was my first "real" day back to work, as I had to drop the babe off at his Grammy's house. After Thursday, I thought I was good to go. In the clear. But as we pulled into Grammy's driveway, I began to realize that I was not as good as I thought. After getting the babe in the house and unpacking him and his things, I handed him over to my mom. Oh the pain that tore through my heart! And it was just my mom, people! I am so thankful and blessed not to have to have handed him to a total stranger! I kept finding things I needed to tell my mom, and then coming back and pinching his cheeks and kissing him, and back and forth. Until finally, I lost it. Then my mom lost it. Then came the tearful embrace. Then my mom kicked me out of the house so that I wouldn't be too late for work. As soon as I got in the car, I called Ben. "Hello?" "inhale...bigger inhale...quicker, more furious inhale....waaaahaaaahaaaahaaa...quivering inhale....waaahaaaaahaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He assured me that I am a wonderful mother and that I was not abandoning my sweet boy. That it was going to be okay. That he would support me if I decided to stay home with Burke fulltime. Cry out to God, he said. Listen for His answer. And I did. And while I still haven't heard any answers, He did fill me with incredible peace to get through the day. My mascara was only slightly streaked when I pulled into work, although I couldn't do much to hide my red, puffy eyes and nose. But once I was there and busy with work, I was okay. Missed my boy like crazy. Hated to be away from him. But I knew, that for now at least, I could do it.

The encouragement I needed to get through my day came when my mom told me that she was going through her emails with a tired and fussy Burke on her lap and came to an email from me. She opened the email and played the attached video--a video of Burke rolling over. His new favorite trick. She said that he perked up when he heard my voice, so she played it again for him. She said that he got so happy that second time when he heard my voice again! Thank God! That was just what I needed to hear!

9/11/11

Ten years ago devastation hit our nation. I was walking to my first class of the day at Elizabethtown College when I heard the news. It didn't sink in. It couldn't be real. Our country was impregnable. It was simply impossible. And yet, instead of discussing Thoreau, I watched, dumbfounded, as the reality of this tragedy played out before my eyes on the television at the front of the classroom. And then one by one, my classmates dismissed themselves or showed up late with streaked faces stained by just the first of many tears--they couldn't get in touch with their families back home. Her uncle worked at the World Trade Center. Their families lived in the City. Somerset, Pennsylvania? That was really close to home! And mercifully, classes were cancelled although students lingered because the silence of being alone with this news was just too noisy. Our security had been breached. We had been violated. Would we recover?



(Photo: 2001 The Record (Bergen County, N.J.) Thomas E. Franklin)

But our nation was built on a love relationship with a most gracious, loving God. And as I watched the touching pre-game ceremony at the Eagles/Rams game just a few minutes ago, I was reminded of the humbling truth: "For God so loved the world..." In just ten years, He has swept up our nation in the most passionate bearhug possible and has just poured out love and peace on broken hearts. He has healed our broken nation. Redeemed it. Because He loves us so!



Getty Images

What an incredible love that is. I am humbled by it and so thankful for it! And I thank God every day for giving me a son so that I can get a glimpse at just how fierce and unconditional it really is. I love Burke with every fiber of my being. My love for him grows stronger every day. And yet I know that God loves me even more deeply than I love Burke. Amazing!


Go Eagles!